Saturday, May 29, 2010

I dont want to be Desperate Mom

Spend time all day with my kids is all things make me happy. It become my inspiration to what I want to write right now.

How happy I am if untill the end of my time, I was blessed for being aroung with my kids. Seeing them raise, grown up , and for every important moment of their life. Till I close my eyes and leave this world forever. I wanna be the first people watching greatest moment in their life.

But, I know. What I expected to be happen not always what I've got in my hands. I dont know much about life. About how being loosing and having in my life. The line between having and loosing is so close. Sometimes it make me feel no different between those 2 things.

Maybe if I have to loose them or no longer arround them, I just wanna let them now right now. That I will never live far from them. Because I lie on their blood. I am the air anytime they are breathing. I am the wind that blowing their life. There are so many prayer of mine along with them. I wiil never keep distance even if I am far away for real.

I will no longer feel desperate of my life. Even for the bitterness comes to me. For many reason I know, I am exist for them, for keeping them in good place, for many reason in the name of their happiness. I should never be desperate for something that I do not understand.

I have to be strong and leave the desperation. For the painfull, for hurt, for the wound that was my best friend. Its only me. With weak hands and trying to reach my divided soul.

I dont want to be desperate mom. Even I know, there must be sorrow in life. But one things I know for sure, I have to live for them, I have to keep breathing for them, for any reason in the name of their happiness. That my time is running out still. Then doing much for them untill it will be end forever.

Inspiring by:
Our togetherness, Me, Nisa, & Syauqi

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Me , The Victim of Hyperthyroid Desease

This time trough my blog I wanna share about one of my life experience. It's a story about me who got Hipertyroid desease.

The first time I was claimed by the doctor that hipertyroid attack my body about the end of July 2009. It started by several mouths by often times feel great tremor during my body and always feel so sweat.

This time I wanna share about what is Hiperthyroid excactly. All I know about this desease, that many Indonesian attack by Hipertyroid. MAy by reading this article you may keep yourself from the desease and keep your body healthy.

Hyperthyroidism is the term for overactive tissue within the thyroid gland causing an overproduction of thyroid hormones (thyroxine or "T4" and/or triiodothyronine or "T3"). Hyperthyroidism is thus a cause of thyrotoxicosis[1], the clinical condition of increased thyroid hormones in the blood. It is important to note that hyperthyroidism and thyrotoxicosis are not synonymous. For instance, thyrotoxicosis could instead be caused by ingestion of exogenous thyroid hormone or inflammation of the thyroid gland, causing it to release its stores of thyroid hormones[2]. Thyroid hormone is important at a cellular level, affecting nearly every type of tissue in the body.

Thyroid hormone is a kind of chemical things that produced by Thyroid gland and release to the blood stream.This hormone interact to almost the whole cell in human body that caused the increase of the body metabolism. It also accelerate the body metabolism. Metabolism is a physic and chemical proccess that could create a substance the energy that need by the cell function, and body growth.

Thyroid hormone functions as a controller of the pace of all of the processes in the body. This pace is called metabolism. If there is too much thyroid hormone, every function of the body tends to speed up. It is not surprising then that some of the symptoms of hyperthyroidism are nervousness, irritability, increased perspiration, heart racing, hand tremors, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, thinning of your skin, fine brittle hair, and muscular weakness—especially in the upper arms and thighs. More frequent bowel movements may occur, but diarrhea is uncommon. Weight loss, sometimes significant, despite a good appetite may occur, vomiting, and, for women, menstrual flow may lighten and menstrual periods may occur less often.[3] Thyroid hormone is critical to normal function of cells. In excess, it both overstimulates metabolism and exacerbates the effect of the sympathetic nervous system, causing "speeding up" of various body systems and symptoms resembling an overdose of epinephrine (adrenaline). These include fast heart beat and symptoms of palpitations, nervous system tremor such as of the hands and anxiety symptoms, digestive system hypermotility (diarrhea), considerable weight loss and unusually low lipid panel (cholesterol) levels as indicated by a blood test.

Hyperthyroidism usually begins slowly. At first, the symptoms may be mistaken for simple nervousness due to stress. If one has been trying to lose weight by dieting, one may be pleased with weigh loss success until the hyperthyroidism, which has quickened the weight loss, causes other problems.

In Graves disease, which is the most common form or cause of hyperthyroidism, the eyes may look enlarged because the upper lids are elevated. Sometimes, one or both eyes may bulge. Some patients have swelling of the front of the neck from an enlarged thyroid gland (a goiter). Because hyperthyroidism, especially Graves’ disease, may run in families, examinations of the members of a family may reveal other individuals with thyroid problems.[3]

On the other hand, a lack of functioning thyroid tissue results in a symptomatic lack of thyroid hormone, termed hypothyroidism. Hyperthyroidism often eventually leads to hypothyroidism.


Trough Hiperthyroidism could shows by some tendency such as : hipertiroidisme,
- Fast heartbeat and usually shows abnormal heart rhythm then become cause
Palpitation ( theart beat very fast).
- Increasing blood pressure
- Victim always feel warm at the cool room.
- The skin tends to humid and produced excessive sweating
- Merge some tremor to the hands
- Patient always feel nervous, easy to be exhausted even not doing the hard
- Increasing of appetite but the weight tendent to decrease.
- Wakeful
- Frequent in bowel movement.
- Some changes to the eye, such as swelling around the eyes,
increasing the formation of tears, iritated and light-sensitive.

These symptoms will disappear soon after the release of thyroid hormones under control, except in Graves' disease eye disorder that causes specific eye desease.

Vital signs (such as : temperature, pulse, respiratory rate, blood pressure) show increased heart rate. Systolic blood pressure can increase. Physical examination may reveal thyroid enlargement or goiter.

Further for assessing thyroid function we should do some examination :
- TSH serum (usually decreases)
- T3, T4 (usually increases).

In addition there are also a variety of tests used to diagnose hyperthyroidism example:
- thiroid hormone blood test
- X-ray scan – to detect tumors
- CAT scan - to detect tumors
- MRI scan - to detect tumors

So far , I already did some test such as : TSH Serum, T3, T4, and MRI scan. And the result shows that I suffered from Hiperthyroidism.


Hyperthyroidism can usually be treated with medication, another option is the provision of radioactive iodine. Firstly, I consume some medicine called PTU and proponolol. But this medication didnt shows some good changes. From my cousin, I was suggested to come to Hasan Sadikin Hospital in Bandung, West Java Province. At the hospital I was given radioactive iodine drops. Another weeks after I was dropped the radioactive iodine, I no longer felt the symptom. But still I have to keep my body by not consume some foods such as: seafood, cabbage and brocoli. I also not use mentol drugs, such as menthol cough medicine,eucalyptus oil and balsam.

As every medication has own effect , you may choose wich one the best for you. If the medicine could not help you may try to another medication. But as my doctor said that I was not advisable to remove the thyroid gland, because we still need it as body resistance.

That is a little experience I have in my life. That the fact I am a victim of Hiperthyroidism. The doctor said that the possibility I got the desease is because of hereditary disease. And it supported by unhealthy eating patterns.

For you that have a record from family desease, you should protect your body by the food that I cant consume such as : brocoli, cabbage and seafood. May it help you away from Hiperthyroid.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Christian Bautista, my fave "Pinoy" Singer

Do you ever know that I like some Pinoy singer? They have quite melodious voice and usually ready for go international and also fluent in several foreign language. It made them become easier conquer the international music better than Indonesian singer.

The most favourite Pinoy singer of mine is Christian Bautista. He is young, good looking, talented , friendly and fluent in english make him easy to recognize with his South Asian fans , just like in Indonesia. Born with the name Christian Joseph Morata Bautista in Imus, Cavite, Philipine at October 19, 1981. He finished his study at Up Diliman Bachelor Landscape Architecture. With height 5' 11" and Weight: 149 lbs made him a charming singer.

Famous as Christian Bautista, he is a singing sensation in the Philippines. He has established a name for himself in the music scene not only in his home country, but also in Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore.

Christian’s international success began with “The Way You Look At Me,” getting frequent airplay in Indonesian radio stations. The song became an instant hit among the country’s young music lovers, even if they had yet to see the artist behind the ballad. The song, penned by American composers Andrew Fromm and Keith Follese, became so popular that record label Warner Indonesia decided to bring Christian there, to the great delight of the fans whose support for The Pinoy singer has been steadily growing and even spreading to neighboring countries.

Better than "They Way You Look at Me" I also like his song " Hands to heaven". This song tell about how sadness the man while he has to leave his lover for another activity.

This year, he colaborates with BCL , an Indonesian singer, make a new hits use Bahasa tittle Tetaplah di Hatiku ( adabted from Philipine song "Please be careful with my heart").

Apart from appearing in live concerts all over Asia, the Middle East, and the US, Christian is a regular performer on ABS-CBN’s Sunday noontime show, “ASAP,” as part of the “Champions” group. He is managed by STAGES, an event and talent management company in the Philippines.

Source :
Christian Bautista online

Friday, May 21, 2010

The People Most Inspiring Me Much

This is the list of the people I know in this world that already inspiring my life very much. It influence my point of view, the way I think about something, accept the differencess and sometimes become the guidence to see some problems. Here comes the list ....

Dra. Hj. Sugiyah
She is my mother. Born in a small place in Jogjakarta, 20 June 1943. She is a tough woman and already prove it to her family, including me as her daughter. Eventhough she only works as an elementary school teacher, she knows better how to maintin her family and supporting her husband by her own way. I am proud being her daughter.

Nila Prasetyo Artiwi.
She was born in Teluk Betung, Lampung Province, 1 October 1975. My best friend since I was a university student at Technic Faculty University of Lampung. So talented and modest person, but behind her modest I found a great spirit that I didnt find at another person. Some bitter episode of her life didnt make her stuck in the sad situation. But more, how she has to pass it all the way. Her dedication to her family was not adoubtfull. She told me by how in 10 years she taking care a sick mother, until she passed away. Her story often inspiring my life, very much. Maybe it because very close in emotional bound. How I must keep strong in bad situation, and survive during the unespected hard time. We rarely meet, because she lives in Jakarta now wiht her little family, her husband and her son. She never know, that her best friend actually is her fans.

Eko Setyo Mahanani.
I meet him during my postgraduate study in Malang. He is my class mate. Just like Malangnesse call, I call her "Cak Eko". Knowing him, make me meet his family too. His wife and his children become my best friend too now. Born at malang 12th February 1974, works for Public Work Official of Malang Local Government. He is kind hearted person. He help almost most of the class by giving facility and another during the school. He never think his friend will give him back. My friendship between me , him and his family change to brotherhood. For me he and his wife is my older brother and older sister. In my difficult time during the school they always support me much and always give me direction whenever i need it. What I learn from him and his wife in ther modesty they try to serve other better or even the best. They are so helpfull and respect friendship that is more than everything in the life. They never know that I become inspiring by their love and care to me and other friends. That being useful person is so great, they got more than friendship, but like family as they never thought before. I love these guys, may Alloh always bless this family with many kindness and blessing.

Lydia Angelina Karema.
She is more than thatn just a friend for me. But like the nice sister that already sent by the God to me. She was born in Manado, 19th May 1973, a catholic people. At the first time I meet her I can see many great things lies on her. Mature, Briliant, kind hearted, understanding and helphul peple of course. We often spent time become a room mate. She never know that she was inspiring me in life because of her kind attitude. Very wise young lady under her age. There is minahasa, chinesse and holand blood in her body. Make a perfect kharisma lies on her. Often time speak Manado language even to me. That is why I know some vocabulary of that language during my study. I never meet the very understanding and kind hearthed chinesse woman like her before. From her i learn much about faithfull, belief, friendship, keept smiling to people arround , even sometimes they give us a bad words. Always being positive in every ways. That is what not every people have in their life, including me.I love you my sister. You never know, that I could come this far because I ever know you in my life. I learn much from you. May God always bless you in every step you make. I love you, Mbak Lydia...friendship forever..

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Dewa19 , my fave Indonesian Band

I like almost all song that made by Dewa Band. Even it originally named as Dewa 19, but still I like some song that compossed by Ahmad Dhani. Even I know that Ari Lasso's charisma cant be substitud to other singer but Once already sing for Dewa. In this blog I try to write about the history of this band from all source I read about my favourite band. May it help you to know futhter about Dewa 19 become Dewa.

At the firtst time Dewa 19 shows up with the Hits Kangen, at the Album of Dewa 19. The album was release at 1992, at time I was in second year of Senior High School. I still didnt feel that I am interest to this band. Just think that I like some of the Song. But the more I listen to all song of this album, I feel that I love the song. The lyric so impressive and puitic. Lately, They wound BASF Award ass the Best New Commer. The origini formation of Dewa 19 I firstly know is : Ahmad Dhani, Ari Lasso, Andra RAmadhan, Wawan Juniarso and Erwin Prasetya.

In 1994 The Second Album Named Format Masa Depan was released. There is a personal changed from Wawan to Rere.It had single such as : Aku Milikmu and Tak Kan Ada Cinta Yang Lain, lately sing also with Reza Artamevia and Titi Dj.

The next Album in 1995 named Terbaik Terbaik, this band changed the drummer position again wiht Wong Aksan as the new one. This Album wound Anugerah Musik Indonesia as The Best Alternatif Song , The Best Song and The Best Ryhtim Album , The Best Group/Duo. The Hits are Kamulah Satu-satunya dan Kirana wound the Best Video Clipt at Video Musik Indonesia Award.

In 1998 this group got some problem with the vocalist Ari Lasso and Erwin because of the drug. This is become the worst matter of Dewa because the have to face some refusing to some concers because of the drugs habbit. In 1999, Dewa released the Best of Dewa 19 Album with Ari Lasso as the singer for the last time. He sang "Elang" a single of this album . This Album reach a success without any promotion. After released this album the personel of Dewa left Ahmad Dhani and Andra Ramadhan.

Finally after the long term vacume The Band released the new album named Bintang 5 with new performance with Once and Tyo Nugros and changed the name become Dewa, only without 19 behind the name. The Hits are Risalah Hati, Roman Picisan, Separuh Nafas, Cemburu and wound some awards still.

The Next album of Dewa in 2002 released as the name Cintailah Cinta with Erwin Prasetya back as a basist of this group. And still reach success and wound some awards. The hits "Arjuna" got problem with the original tittle "Arjuna Mencari Cinta" that according to an author the name is inspired from his writing. Then finnally Dewa change the tittle of the song become "Arjuna". But in July 2002 Erwin Prasetya pushed to leave the management and can not be back to this group. The position offer to Yuke Sampurna, the ex of The Groove basist former.

Untill now Dewa already released 9 album since the name was Dewa 19. They are : Dewa 19, Format Masa Depan, Terbaik-terbaik, Pandawa 5, Bintang 5, Cintailah Cinta, Laskar Cinta, Republik Cinta, and Kerajaan Cinta.

Now the personel become : Ahmad Dhani, Once, Andra Ramadhan, Yuke Sampurna, and Agung as drummer.

Actually, I prefer like this band was Dewa 19. Ari Lasso was a great singer of this band. And the age Ahmad Dhani could do magic trough his song so much better than now with Dewa. But I still can enjoy all the song.

This article I write especially to Baladewa and all of Dewa 19 nor Dewa fans. May this article could help you in searching the information of this band both.

Source :, wikipedia and other source that support this article.

Me and My Korea Madness

I love South Korea very much. Not only beautiful in my eyes, but this country still keep the old tradition in the modern era. It wellknown as The Heaven of Ginseng.

My first meeting to this country is the time I saw Korean Drama " Winter Sonata" which perform by Bae Young Joon and Choi Ji Woo. The Drama already made me fall in love at the first time to the country cos this drama shows some beautiful place of South Korea. Nami Island was the centre of this drama. Many romantic scences take there, made the place known as romantic island for the tourist.


The soundtrack of this drama, made me interesting to korean song. The song " From Begininning until now " and " My Memory" become some of my favourite korean song. From listening, I dare to know the meaning of the song and lead me to learn about Hanggul and koreang language.


The meeting between me and korean drama make me eager to know more about this country. The Republic Country that neighbour with China at the West and Japan at the west. It consist of one special City (Seoul), 5 metropolitan cities ( Busan, Daegu, Incheon, Gwangju, Daejeon, and Ulsan), 8 Provinces ( Gyeonggi-do, Gangwon-do,Chungcheongbuk-do , Chungcheongnam-do, Jeollabuk-do , Jeollanam-do, Gyeongsangbuk-do, Gyeongsangnam-do) and a Special self-governing province (Jeju-teukbyeoljachido (Jeju-do).

I wish I can use Handbok oneday. Hanbok is the traditional Korean dress. Nowadays, people wear it during traditional festivals and celebrations. It has many germants like dopo (clothing), durumagi and jeogori, so it is worn as semi-formal or formal wear.


I know Korean Cuisine from Korean Television like KBS and Arirang TV ( this is the most korean favourite channel of mine), such as Kimchi, a fermented, usually spicy vegetable dish is commonly served at every meal and is one of the best known Korean dishes, Bulgogi, a Korean barbecue dish made of either beef or pork, Sujeonggwa, a traditional Korean fruit punch, garnished with pine nuts and others.





This country has impressed me much by rich with tradition but also update the technology. Many technology was made, such us car, cellphone, and others. They never forget the old tradition in modernisasion era and it grown up together, side by side. It make korea rich in culture and civilization.

The Light I call : Nisa and Syauqi

If you have child you will know how they are so meant to your life. That your own life no longer important better than theirs. That is what I feel about them right now. How I can feel that they could ease my pain and sorrow by only showing their nice smile to me. Suddenly, all of the misery of mine will go only in a few minute.

They are the light of my life. Yes, it is. Nothing could change with others bright light. The only things I know, that their light is the only guidence to reach my end of time. I will gain anything for them. For having the light always be bright as I expected.

I love the way they love me. Even sometimes, they do the things that make me upset and bit angger, I still believe on them. I seem me on their body. Cos my blood is on their blood.

I can always remember, how they smelt. If I close my eyes, I can recognize which one is Nisa and also with Syauqi. Their smelt make me drunk, drunk of their love. That they never ask me much, better than my love. They always understand me, anyhow, anytime, anyplace.

Make me always being strong , dear. No matter how much I have to bet my life. I will give it all, my everything to find happiness for all of you. I believe I can, as long as you always here, with me..

With so much love,

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Me and My Expectation...

As we know in this life we can't always get what we want. But that is the time God, Alloh SWT shows us the best in our life..What we think the best for us, but not in God's eyes..

Since young, I like studying very much. But I never dream lately i can come this far. Got the scholarship from Public Work Departmen, and find alot of experience meeting great people in my life, that is the most important..

Reflect from my parents, I liked being a lecturer at the first time. But my life open the chanche for me to apply my education by the place where I belong right now. As a government officer that concentrate to infrastructure field , I have to combine both between the brain and my physic. This is the man's place. That is why I have to work at least the same as the man do and push me tough in spirit maintain the short term for better work. Very hard work. But that is my life now. Even I know, right now I still havent done many to the place I work, yet. But I really want to contribute my abbility to my country, as civil engineer must do to their country.

My work make me close to the farmer. As Indonesia is an agrarist country and expect great amount from the rice field. I learn them how important the PArticipatory Irrigation. Need their participation for make better irrigation in this country. It open my eyes that they supported much to this country. But sometimes they dont get enough attention from the government. It is challangging work. Helping them serving good irrigation, and knowing them far. Even I have to come to the rice field oven time to meet them not in formal meeting. But thanks God, I love and enjoy this work.

Working person and a mother for my kids. Hard enough. That is the time I know how I should be perfect in their eyes. Trying my best maintain their need. I wish i could be a home mother for them. Not working around, leave them for working. If my friend told me i am the lucky one because I am working mother, I answer that they are completely wrong. I never think this far. At the young age I ever think about being non working mother. So I can focuse my life taking care of them. But once again, that is just a wish.

After finishing my postgraduate study, I really want to make another progress. Wanna reach the higher education. I dont know why I really wanna reach Ph.d. Some people say that no need for me to reach that. But it's not like self satisfaction, but more about what I would do after that. Wanna present something different to this country. But it's only a wish. I just can hope, God listen to what I pray.

I like making friendship. I believe if we have many friends it will keep us alive. Just like Propet Muhammad SAW says " Silaturahim can keep us alive" (Hadist Riwayat Buchori Muslim). I have alot of friends from all over the world. I like doing this cos it help me open my view about anything that i dont know in this life. The more different profession they have, the more make my eyes open wide that actually I still dont know much about this world.

I wanna be a usefull person. Bring benefit to others. As the propet Muhammad SAW, said : "That the better man in this world is the one who always bring benefit to others". I wanna keep the propets said in my whole life time. I wanna be better man as He said. To be more emphatic to other people is always I want.

During my life time I always meet great and kind hearted people. They are inspired me much. One of a friend told me, "You will meet the kind people in your life, because you are so kind to them too.It's naturaly sist, if many people was so kind to you" It make me learn about the words for any minute. Try to find it on the books. Is it true? that we will be served kindness from others if we are also kind to them? For now on..I believe that words. Many miracles i found in friendship. I was helped very much from those guys. I dont want to forget the miracle I found from each of my friends. They encourage me much, support me and always listen what I said even we are very far apart. They are my inspiration in life. I learn much from their life without they know at all.

Always want to be better each day. That's what I want to do in my life. Not easy thing, I know. But at least I am trying. I have to learn much. For make what I am dreaming of to be true. As wise man said that the life began from our dream. From dream we know what we have to reach. Even its very far away upon the sky. I wish I could ...