Monday, June 7, 2010

Letter for My Children

Dear My Children,

What I will write here is because I wanna let you know about how I feel about you.
About the love, carrying, devotion, and my great attention that I never told you before. For now, you are still kids. I believe while you are grown up, you can read this and understand how wonderful the love of a mother is.

I always be proud of you. There is some special feeling at the moment I have to told other people about you. About your progress, about your cheerfull, your funny statements or even your naughtiness that often made me worried. I am always excited while telling them about the detil of your life.

One day you will know, how big a mother's sacrifation for making her babies happy. She will offer her life for those happiness, I can guarantee that..

If only the wind can help me for whispering the message to your ear, it will tell you about my world that I always want to present it to you. That a half of my life is in yours. That my love for you doesnt care about seasons, time and distance. It is everywhere. It is the air you breathe. It is the blood that lies on your body.

My dear,
Be anything you want. Dont ever think I will never agree to the road you've already chosen . Be an expert to the that road. Do the best you can do. I never ask you for something that you can't. But love what you already decide for life. Because I never keep my distance with you, even if you ask me to. I always wanna be around, even only in your heart.

My life will never be enough without you. For many reason I am alive, it would not so bright as you give me shine. If I have 2 wings, I would fly to heaven, and spread the happy news about the way you are exist for me.

I know my hands could never write any beautiful words in this world without you fill my heart. Even for the sorrow things I have met. You always be the best for me. Exchanging the weakness become a great power.

I know I am not the perfect mother as you excpet me to be. But during the sound that rhyme my heart, it always beat about your name. You are my heart. You are the rhyme of my life. Who fill my soul with the most beautiful song ever.

Let me be the most unerase name from your heart. Let me be the one who write that name on your heart. I always listen to what you say. For your sorrow and happiness and if none will hear you, I will be the one who cares. These hands will never be function optimally without for touching your hair, letting you sleep down on my laluby as you always did it at time you were a baby.

My pray will never stop running from my mouth. For every detil moment that pass you bye. For every activities you make. For every place you be around. Only by praying I could present you the best thing in this world. For keeping you always for each unreachable place from me. That will make me so save. Lettng you grown up and being a mature person.

May God always give me time for wathcing the precious moment of your life. Starring at your face when you meet your happiness and the important time of your life. I wish..

Keeping pray child, always pray because God always listens to what we say. God never sleeps. And always give us the best time to approve our pray. May you always be a tough person, useful person, and brave to challange anything that possible come to your life. And prayer will make you so. Anad I will help you trough my pray for night and day I was sent .

May Allah SWT always listen to a mother's pray.

Lampung, 3rd June 2010

Thursday, June 3, 2010

From Dusk Till Dawn

I can not close my eyes..
The burden seem too heavy for me..
What do I have to do?

I have done all...
and expect I will find the responce..
The good responce to the effort I have done..

I still can see the moon from the window of my room
The collor is not always the same..
I said to the moon..
Will you help me passing difficult moment of my life?
Will you light my way?

I still can not close my eyes..
Not even a minute..
Do I need a help?
or will I be victorious against this tired?

My eyes become so blur..
Can not see a goodness..
Only fatamorgana that I can see..that could coddle my self for a moment..
Seem never want that moment end..
The precious moment, even it only takes a minute..

The Tik Tok still runs..
Seems remind me that I have to go sleep..
But this eyes won't let me lying there..
Push me to think..about everything that already happened

From my blurness, I can see a little light..
I dont know wheter I awake or not...
So skiny..
Almost cant figure what it is..
Even I really dont know what it is..

Maybe it is a sign..
A sign that whispers I don't have to give up..
for everything that may possibly come to me..
That I am not that weak to be conquered..
That I still have a heart..
To make things clear, at least for myself..

I still can see that light..
Small but strong enough..
Filling my heart with its ray..

I want to be the One..
The One that always being reckoned..
Not easy become melted away..

I am what I am..
And always proud being who I am..
A little light that always keep her shine..
Until it come to my Dusk and ending my Dawn forever..
That is why I called as Lita..

Malang, 6th March 2009.

The Story Behind the Poem.
I keep my writing because it will be unforgettable moment in my life. I could not sleep at all until the dawn. I was over sleept for about at 6 am and awake at 11 am. I break my schedule, meeting Pak Didiet , my thesist supervisor at 8 am. Thanks God, He still overing me another schedule, at 1 pm after Sholat Jumat.

Karena sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan, (*)sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. (*)maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain, (*)dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap [94:Alam Nasyrah:5~8]