World from the eyes

I can not close my eyes..
The burden seem too heavy for me..
What do I have to do?

I have done all...
and expect I will find the responce..
The good responce to the effort I have done..

I still can see the moon from the window of my room
The collor is not always the same..
I said to the moon..
Will you help me passing difficult moment of my life?
Will you light my way?

I still can not close my eyes..
Not even a minute..
Do I need a help?
or will I be victorious against this tired?

My eyes become so blur..
Can not see a goodness..
Only fatamorgana that I can see..that could coddle my self for a moment..
Seem never want that moment end..
The precious moment, even it only takes a minute..

The Tik Tok still runs..
Seems remind me that I have to go sleep..
But this eyes won't let me lying there..
Push me to think..about everything that already happened

From my blurness, I can see a little light..
I dont know wheter I awake or not...
So skiny..
Almost cant figure what it is..
Even I really dont know what it is..

Maybe it is a sign..
A sign that whispers I don't have to give up..
for everything that may possibly come to me..
That I am not that weak to be conquered..
That I still have a heart..
To make things clear, at least for myself..

I still can see that light..
Small but strong enough..
Filling my heart with its ray..

I want to be the One..
The One that always being reckoned..
Not easy become melted away..

I am what I am..
And always proud being who I am..
A little light that always keep her shine..
Until it come to my Dusk and ending my Dawn forever..
That is why I called as Lita..


Malang, 6th March 2009.


The Story Behind the Poem.
I keep my writing because it will be unforgettable moment in my life. I could not sleep at all until the dawn. I was over sleept for about at 6 am and awake at 11 am. I break my schedule, meeting Pak Didiet , my thesist supervisor at 8 am. Thanks God, He still overing me another schedule, at 1 pm after Sholat Jumat.

Karena sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan, (*)sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. (*)maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain, (*)dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap [94:Alam Nasyrah:5~8]